Thursday, August 19, 2010


I knew my mother-in-law for a large chunk of my adult life. She was a wonderful grandmother to her grandchildren. They absolutely adored her. I have visited her grave a few times and felt at peace with her. As other members of hubby's family, who I knew, are buried nearby, I have paid my respects to them too. One whole generation has now passed on.

I knew my mother all of my life. But, because we moved large distances away from where she lived, she did not have as much opportunity to spend time with her grandchildren as they grew up. There are so many events that she would have enjoyed. I regret she is not still here to share in the developments and in the lives of her grandchildren thus far. I also regret being so far away from her place of rest. I have not been there since the rose tree was planted, very many years ago. It must be solid and mature by now. I feel a need to visit, to quietly commune with my mother in her beautiful place of peace, and I shall.


Flighty said...

A lovely heartfelt post! Flighty xx

ZACL said...

Thank you Mr F xx

keiko amano said...


Your post reminded me that family graves are a sacred place like the ocean, but personal. I appreciate this blog, and I envy the naturalness of non-Japanese people about family graves.

I make a visit to my family grave once a year. I used to go there more often. A Japanese friend of mine said she visits her family grave once a month. But her mother must have been going there regularly, and the family acts as a unit. So I think they take turn. Now, the friend’s daughter is adult, so probably the daughter takes turn on visiting grave also. So, I guess the friend makes a visit four times a year. This month, we have a national holiday for obon in which most or many Japanese visit their family graves. The temperature is up to 36 C. And humid. Mosquitoes would attack me if I were there.

The distance to our graves varies and our circumstances, too. I think of time I can no longer go there. This is what I think. They can come to see us. And, if we passed away, and our children were unable to visit our graves, we can go see them. The transportation will be free, and the time will be on our side.

Anonymous said...

although departed loved ones are always with us in our hearts, i still think it's important to visit their places of rest in person to just sit, remember and reflect.

ZACL said...

Hello Keiko,

What an interesting perspective you have on our mobile souls. It is true what you say about family connections.

I am fascinated about how your people concern themselves with their departed love ones.

ZACL said...

Hi Ax,

You have got to the heart of it I feel. I also think you have to be ready to sit, remember and reflect. So far,it is not something I have been in a position to do. Now, I feel a need.

Thank you for your thoughts.