BIG MUCKY CALLING CARDS

One thing about us having a dry afternoon with gales, washing can be quadruple pegged on the line and be battered dry by the forceful winds. Of Course, that doesn't account for our birdie friends who quite like shitting on the washing, in particular, my drying towels. They left their dirty grey mucky calling card on the largest towel, great splashes of it and the towel was bone dry.....typical.
 

So, three hours after it was pegged out the first time, the soggy towel was pegged out again.

It's just gone 8pm and it's light outside, however temperatures have dropped, it is very chilly. I can let the towel blow for a bit longer. Our feathered friends are resting now and are highly unlikely to notify me of anymore visits.

Washing Machine Bushes

THE ELUSIVE LANGUAGE LIAISONS

The card rack I had been searching through, took up most of the length of the shop.  There I was looking through cards at dark end of the rack where the more subdued message cards were displayed, when I noticed under the section titled 'Get Well",  a white card with lots of fine silver design on the front.  In the relative gloom, the sparkle of silver had caught my eye. Honestly, I could not believe what I was seeing.  

First, why send or take a card to someone in hospital, which in bold silvery lettering tells the patient where s/he is, 'You Are In Hospital'.

But in fact what it actually proclaimed on this card and every card like it, very loudly and in very thick silver letters, was:

YOUR IN HOSPITAL.

(Writer's licence I have used a shade of pink)

My coughing fit drew out signs of life in the shop. The shop owner came out of a room, apologising for not noticing me. More like, she hadn't seen me in the gloom. I showed her one of the offending cards at the same time opining on the state of affairs on the written standards of  the English language. 

"What....." she looked really puzzled. It was obvious she could not see what I did.

I spoke the written words...shopkeeper was still no wiser.  
Spelling, "Y-O-U-R in hospital",  is wrong.  I explained how it should have been written and printed.  In shopkeeper's  eyes a realisation visibly dawned.  "It's just awful", I added. 

"There are a lot of awful things in the world", shopkeeper said.  I agreed, differentiating however, that linguistically, in my own language, this was another one of them.  

I very much doubt I was her favourite customer of the day; not that I was much bothered,

WELL LOVED SOCKS, CONTACTLESS CARDS AND KITCHEN FOIL SECURITY.

Contactless  credit and debit cards are going to be the the thing to have, whether you want them or not.  Some banks who say they value their customers, have decided that they will ensure their customers have the contactless cards, there will not be any choice.  Either you are a carrying bank card holder, or, I guess, you do not belong. That's real customer service, of a perverse kind.

Just for interest, I went into one bank, where the staff from the manager down did not know what I was talking about when I asked about their policy regarding contactless cards, they had never heard of them.  Yet, the bank had sent out a major mailing to all their customers about their changeover plans to these cards, just two days before!  

There are banks who appreciate that some of their customers,  rather a lot of them, do not want  the alternative debit or credit cards, they would like to stay with what they know, imperfect though the system may be. Customers are currently more comfortable using their 'old card technology,' a bit like a pair of old reliable pilling socks. They may pill, but they do not fall apart.  These banks are giving their customers a choice to opt out of receiving contactless cards.

People who are holding off changing their arrangements are being cautious. There have been 'accidents'.  Funds have been swiped from accounts, where the purchaser has not consciously used the new style card.  Scanners have picked up the details from cards resting out of sight in wallets or handbags.  Newcastle University has been researching the security of the contactless system.  There are ways and means with unsophisticated equipment to scan for these cards -even from across the street .

Personally, I do not find it comforting to know that only five transactions of up to £20 sterling can be lifted from an account before a block is put in place; that's £100 which can disappear.  It is not clear whether that policy applies to both debit and credit cards.  I do  not find it reassuring to hear that the banks will take the risk and refund any losses.  I just do not want to go there.

If you're with a bank that insists you use their contactless cards and you do not want to change banks, there is a way to try and block accidental or malicious scanning.  If you have not got any kitchen foil, then go get some. I would advise you get a good quality foil which will stand up to at least one day of use.  With the foil, line the outer wall of the wallet in which you keep cards; a similar process is advised for purses (if that’s what you use). Otherwise fit a foil membrane into the section of your bag where cards may be placed. 

It would be a good idea to regularly check the home-made foil membrane for splits and renew
it as necessary, to maintain your security against opportunistic scanners and scanning.

IT IS A VERY TIGHT FIT

What a fight!  It was nearly massacred by the time I decided the effort was going nowhere useful.  It was really tiresome trying to get the card into the envelope provided for it. There I was with one yellow envelope that had a tear in it and worse the for wear on its edges.

I was not going to be beaten.  I got out my paper trimmer and carefully took a couple of centimetres off the bottom of the card.  Success!  The card slid in.  Now, what was I to do with the scrappy-looking envelope.  Brainwave.....put the address label over the tear, which was on the upper right, about where you would place a postage stamp.   It did a good cover-up job.  As for the edges,  I think I can kid myself that they will not be noticed; not that much anyway. 

There are ten more envelopes that do not fit the cards. 

DO NOT BELIEVE WHAT THEY SAY - SAYING 'HI' COSTS A LOT.

 The nice part time lady was at the post office counter today.  Even so, there was no straight answer  given to my question about the cost of posting a card abroad, it all depended on the weight, I was told.  "A normal sized, average, possibly, even below averaged sized card," I said, "I do not send big ones." "Uhm, difficult to say," was the reply.  I nudged a bit more, asking about the basic cost and was then informed. 

The stamp price for sending a card to Europe, up to 20gms has risen to 87p.  My brain  was thinking it might have gone up from 60p or so last year, to say, 70p.  Obviously that was me being too optimistic.  "And did I have the airmail stickers for them?"  There was no charge for them (yet), so I decided to add the ones offered to my small collection, just in case someone has a brain aberration brainwave and institutes charges for stickers.  It would not surprise me if we are charged for writing in cards in due course.  It makes you wonder what miniscule weight  ink or pencil lettering might add.

MAKING NEW ARRANGEMENTS AND STAYING FRIENDS

As soon as a wife or partner hitch up, there seems to be an unwritten expectation that the sending of the annual greetings cards to friends and family becomes the total responsibility of one of the partnership, whether all the people on the list are known to the writer or not.  


Expectations can be changed without a pre-nuptial/pre-partnership agreement on the matter.  It might be, with some couples, that renegotiating the path to communications with everyone in their respective world could be the rocky road to disaster, so, I should not wish to suggest that  fairly reorganising the task is the way forward for everyone.


What would you do to apportion the writing of the annual greeting cards ?