WRIGGLE OUT OF OWNING THE JEANS - IMPOSSIBLE!

If you're going to be a 'fixer' for cash - and not that much either - then you definitely have to make sure you don't get your jeans singed in the conflagration you've created, nor should you dump them in a nearby bin.  Incidentally, I am rather surprised you did not notice you had dropped your cell phone in the ruins, during your haste to depart the scene of crime.

Is it any wonder than the law caught up with you and your mates, and rather swiftly too. You could hardly deny the phone was yours, but you did.  You even said that you'd lost it and someone else must have dropped it at the site of your criminal activities.  

The jeans...well, it was a bit difficult wriggling out of ownership of those. There were some tell tale signs of burns on your legs, in the same places where the jeans were 'singed,' and by the way, your DNA was all over the inside and outside of them.

You, your mates, and the guy who paid for the job,  got your just desserts.  

SHOULD I ERASE MYSELF OR WHAT..........?

I should not have been wearing those trousers, not my cream magic man-made fibre ones. Getting wet was okay, they dry off quickly enough. Hubby, "What on earth have you been doing?" ..........."prickly bushes scraped at me."............"It looks like charcoal"............."Hmm it does, the wet bits have spread"........."You'll have to rub yourself down with an eraser or two"......."Not funny, ha,ha".

Okay, I managed a smile.

So, there I was, trousers tucked into socks, sporting a striking black criss-cross pattern together with other various random black line marks, from the knees down. Looking around, hubby realised that the new pattern on my cream trousers was not from spiked bushes but from the remains of last year's burned heather stubs.

Nothing for it, those trousers go in the wash, to hopefully surface fresh and creamy, as good as new, meantime, I go on the hunt for some black walking/hiking trews.