TAXING IS TRULY TAXING

Worried that tax had been underpaid, and unable to get through to an alternative office by phone, the tax payer wrote a letter  explaining what was wanted and why.   The letter from the tax office in reply,  makes the following requests:

"Would you please contact us at the number given and tell us why you require self assessment tax forms for previous years.  Please quote the national insurance number in this letter,  it will help deal with the call, "  

That's all fine then.   Now it is confirmed that you have to have a reason to ask for a tax assessment and to receive the form/s.  But, just a minute, the reason was given in the letter requesting the forms.

Telephone call made, numerous menus negotiated, an operator is updated on the reason for the call. He has to go off and speak to a supervisor....

The operator returns and is then told in more detail why tax assessment forms are required.....

He has to go off again to speak to his supervisor.....

The operator returns for the third and last time saying, okay then, we'll email your request for the tax assessment forms to the main tax office - you might hear something in about three or four weeks.
                                                                                       

A RUDE AWAKENING

I now know what it means to be rudely awakened. I wish I had not found out. I came out of a deep sleep, my eyes opened quickly and I had a panic thought, all at the same time. "Oh S**t......the bins, I haven't put them out" They are emptied by the collectors about 7am as a rule.

So, at 5.40am I was out of a nice cozy bed, slippers and dressing gown on, I, heavy headed, went out to the bin, opened the gate and wheeled it out to the front of the house. All was quiet, most windows had curtains drawn; it was cold and dark. 

Next, I carried the empty paper box to sit beside the refuse bin. It's easier than carrying a loaded box. That done, I re-entered the house and retrieved all the paper to be disposed of, flattened a cardboard carton and carried it and the paper collection out to the box. The paper box lid behaved itself for a change, unclipping and clipping back on smoothly. Then I emptied every basket and bin there is at home, including the one in the bedroom, and repeated my nocturnal visit to the refuse bin. It was 5.55am when I returned to my snug bed.

I dozed but didn't get back to a proper sleep. When it was light, I got up, still sleepy. I sat in a chair for a bit. Then came the awakening.....the bins are emptied on Mondays, and this was Sunday, all day.