AT THE HOSPITAL - CAN YOU DO THAT?

I was expecting to see the consultant for a triage assessment, the second one in thirteen months for the same issue. This was though, a different doctor from last time.   I had an  evening clinic appointment which gave us plenty of time to get there.

Because of the icy weather and long nights, we decided to take the morning intercity bus the 120 miles journey.  We sat back, admired views from the  new heights of coach seats, and relaxed.   We had to stay in a hotel overnight because there was no way to get home without a car. The last bus and train home from the town centre, ( about 3 miles from the hospital)  both left before 6pm.

There I was sitting with the man himself, who immediately acknowledged I had travelled a long way, "...And you were seen here last November for this problem." I was not sure if this was a question or a statement, after all, he did have the medical file in front of him.  Playing safe, I agreed  it was so. Then the doctor peered at me and said, "We can't leave you like that, something needs to be done." And he repeated it.  Well, I nearly fell off my perch. I heard myself meekly asking something like, "What will you do?" He explained the procedure.  " You mean you will do it now; can you do that?" The doctor gave me a benign smile " Oh Yes,  of course, you have come a long distance and this cannot be left."  That said, he asked the nurse to set up the equipment.

Hubby, who was in the waiting room, had to be forewarned.  There's no knowing what a fright he would have if I suddenly appeared looking like I'd been ten rounds (or, maybe five) in a boxing bout. As it was, he looked quite alarmed at the news of what was about to happen.

THE UNEXPECTED

Being shut out of my blog site recently threw up  some unexpected feelings.  See here: http://myword1.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/getting-locked-out-of-my-blogsite-me.html   

Someone suggested that it must be interesting being a visitor to your own blog site, it giving another perspective on what [I] do and see. 

Well, no, being locked out of my site did not give me another perspective on what I produce and publish on my blog.  I believe it did not do that because I was, and I am, already very familiar  and closely linked with all of it.  It was not like visiting someone else's site, where I would be seeing different perspectives,  reading something new, meeting up with a different writing style, or, mulling over other and possibly new and refreshing ideas.  


Not being able to fully access my blog site was frustrating.  I  was on the outside looking in. The nearest analogy would be, being shut out of my own house.  Something or someone had a power to do that and I was almost powerless to do anything other than look in through the glass window.  It was  very uncomfortable.  My discomfort, doubtlessly prompted my inner drives to resolve it.

I was also prompted to think about the very many displaced and dispossessed people we hear about, as well as those we are not told much about. The majority have fled to find relative safety; recent history  is full of brutal examples of sequestrating people's homes, taking their livelihoods and their lives.  By comparison, my little cyber experience rates as nothing, and yet,  the event itself, raised my emotional awareness of a particular kind of loss.  It was not a comfortable place to be in.  It will be unimaginably uncomfortable for those who are living the full blast of it right now.