Saturday, November 10, 2012


This is a conversation I had this evening in the supermarket by the refrigerated pizzas and special offers counter.

me: Hello, how is everyone and how's your mum?
her: She died...
me: Oh, I'm so sorry.
her: It's alright, she died six years ago.
me: Oh.
her: Mum and dad are both in the local cemetery now.
me: um, were they from here?
her: no.  

Then I was told where the respective parents were from and where she herself grew up.

her:  The dog died as well.  It was a choice as to whether mum should be buried in the garden and the dog with dad.  But then dad bought and paid for a double lair and would have been upset if mum had not used it.

me: (nodding my head), of course.

her: But then, dad liked the dog and they went out a lot together, so perhaps he would not have minded too much.

me: Hm, I see.

her: The funeral directors said they could arrange to bury mum in the garden, but we thought perhaps not.  So, we have mum and dad in the cemetery together and the dog is buried in the garden.



Jenny said...

And you're sure you were talking to the person you thought you were talking to? - if you see what I mean. ;)

Anonymous said...

I find this very amusing but it is typical of many conversations I've had over the years. The British are often as much concerned about their pets than their relatives. It's always a mistake to bury people in one's garden unless one is absolutely sure that a house move won't be considered at some point in the future!

Anonymous said...

It's almost like two entirely separate conversations! Flighty xx

ZACL said...

It needs a bit of thought, Jennyta. But, yes, I can assure you I was there yesterday, and 'me' was me and her was 'her;' we were certainly in the supermarket, I bought my shopping and took it home. It was tangible. I believe we were on the same plane Or, maybe we weren't. We'd have to be though, wouldn't we.

ZACL said...

You never said a truer word or two Mr F. I am sure I must have blinked throughout her discussion; it was all rather surreal. I was shaking my head in disbelief all the way home.


ZACL said...

I'm not going into that plot GillyK. Her garden arrangements rest fairly and squarely at her feet. And there I shall encourage them to stay.

mira said...

People need to be heard.
Pity the dog was not buried with his owners.
The thought of mum being buried in the garden made me smile !


ZACL said...

Cheers Mira. There is a current family dog, getting on a bit; it might keep the other one company in due course by the sounds of things.

I am still somewhat bewildered at the result of my innocent, if somewhat out-of-date enquiry.

Snowbird said...

Oh! Wow.....what to say???? almost like the day of the dingbat kind of a conversation......except it brought a tear to my eye. Really sad, people all live their own individual lives, however odd....awww....xxxxx

ZACL said...

Hi Plantpot - believe it or not, this family are not usually quite so 'odd' or bewildering. It was, at that point in time, a very strange conversation to be in.

Rebb said...

ZACL, I was intrigued by the conversation and also a bit—I don’t know if sad is the right word—felt a bit of compassion for the woman, though. I gather from the conversation you haven’t seen the woman in some time, as her mum has been gone for some years. If I were in her shoes and someone asked about my mother—what else could I say but the truth? But then once the conversation of the dearly departed comes up, I could imagine it would open up the door.

I once made two friends uncomfortable when they asked how I was after not having seen them for some time and for some reason I decided to tell them that my grandmother had passed—they didn’t know her or anything—and I really don’t know why I told them. The conversation was awkward after that. I made them uncomfortable. Death was normal for me to talk about, but uncomfortable for them to know what to do with it.

ZACL said...

Hi Rebb,

Thanks for your thoughtful comment.

I do occasionally see this woman, just in passing, although, in the last three years there have been opportunities to talk about the family and what they're all doing. I was totally ignorant of mum's demise and I did not know dad had been living in the area as well. I just have not asked about mum and she has not come up in conversation, till now.

What was bewildering and bemusing was the unexpected turn of the conversation, and of course, I was surprised that six years must have passed since I saw the dear departed soul.